Comments on: Mid-Life Crisis

By: Idetrorce

Idetrorce — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 06:56:28 +0000

very interesting, but I don’t agree with you
Idetrorce

By: Kim

Kim — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 19:12:52 +0000

I’m sorry what you are going through. I know it can be very hurtful, frustrating, and sad sometimes.

But like you said it’s worth making the attempt to fix things.

Thanks for commenting on my blog.

By: Middleaged Max

Middleaged Max — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 06:30:44 +0000

I think I read the same article, written by the female “owner” of a midelife crisis website. I took the same exceptions to it that you did. I don’t see that there is any justification in the statement that “we should not try to modify the behaviour” of those we care about, especially when that behaviour appears to be not only self-destructive but destructive to our relationship together.

Attempting to improve the situation may not improve the situation, but I think it’s entirely appropriate that we make the attempt.

In my case, I started reading up on midlife crisis after my wife, who I still love dearly, started to make some uncharacteristic changes - and it wasn’t that the changes were uncharacteristic that worried me as much as that they were in counter-productive and hurtful as well.

But when the going gets tough, the tough don’t sulk in silence, the tough get going. Maybe we can fix things, and maybe we can’t. But it is surely worth making the attempt.

By: kim

kim — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 21:44:15 +0000

I think that it’s perfectly acceptable to look at your life and make changes or do things that you don’t want to put off. It just doesn’t seem fair that the spouse has to suffer in the process of it all. I want to be able to support and be there for my husband as he’s going through changes not be rebuffed at every turn.

By: Sean D. Martin

Sean D. Martin — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 16:10:59 +0000

I have to wonder if the author of the article was male or female, and what their personal agenda was.

As a man who is now “of a certain age” I have been realizing there are more likely fewer days ahead than behind. It does tend to make you look at your personal “Life’s To Do List” and notice what hasn’t yet been done. (Add in a completely unexpected and absolutely devastating sucker punch from the most traumatic time in your life and reflection on paths not taken is unavoidable.) If that prompts you to stop procrastinating on things, I don’t see the harm.

I actually find part of the hesitation to start crossing things off the list comes from a slight concern that they (the infamous “they”) would think “Oh, he’s going thru a mid-life crisis.” Which is an admittedly stupid cycle to get into as it only leads to continuing to do less.

Like many men, for example, my list includes “learn to ride a motorcycle”. Should I not do that because I’m now older? Seriously. If I’d learned at 20 it would be okay to be riding now, but not if I learn at 45?

Now, if your particular list includes “Get divorced and find trophy wife” you’ve got more issues than feeling middle aged. But I really don’t see a problem with someone taking stock and making some changes to improve their satisfaction with their life. It’s far better (for the person’s spouse as well) than “quiet desperation”.